Tenth Year After the End CH6

 006

I used soapberries to wash my quilts. Another family lives on the left side of this tile-roofed house, close to the mountain. There is a big soapberry tree planted in the yard. A small stream in front of that family's house also flows to the front door here, becoming a small ditch.

I picked this bag of soapberries last year, and now only half is left. In this day and age, industrial production has regressed as the human population has decreased, and lifestyle has gone back a hundred years. The laundry detergent and powder we used to use are no longer available, just being able to use soapberries is enough to make people feel satisfied.

In fact, before I had never even seen soapberries, let alone used them. I only heard of it from Aunt Li. I was born and raised in the city, and for the first seventeen years of my life, I lived pretty uselessly. I couldn't cook, and I had never washed clothes except for intimate wear.

When we were on the run, Aunt Li told me about a lot of things, including the soapberry tree. She said that when she was a child, every household in the village planted soapberry trees, and there were several of those trees planted in front of the ditch. Every morning, the young wives went to the ditch to wash clothes. They broke apart soapberries, rubbed them into pieces, wrapped them in clothes, and beat them with a mallet to thoroughly clean the clothes.

Before she died, she loved talking to people, and I was the only one who listened to her. She told me that when she was a child, she went to the mountains to chop wood and herded cattle in the fields. The cattle ran away, and she was so scared that she cried and chased them for two villages before she caught them back.

She also said that when she was a child, her family ground tofu, and a bowl of hot soy milk in the pot was particularly delicious. Before the New Year, she fermented a pot of malt and boiled maltose, which was so sweet that it could stick all people's teeth together.

As I listened, I drooled while holding my empty and sunken stomach. I am grateful for all she has told me. Two years ago, I decided to live in this place, partly because of her influence.

Soap beans look similar to lentils and have a soapy scent.

When I first saw the soapberry tree, I didn't pay attention to it as it didn't bear fruit, and I couldn't recognize it. Later, when I went to the ditch to catch shrimps, I saw that the tree had fruit, and it smelled a bit like laundry detergent. I took some to bring back to try washing clothes. I found that this thing can not only clean stains on clothes but also remove oil residue. After that, I was sure that it was soapberry.

When I first arrived here, I was all alone, carrying around tattered things, like a lonely ghost. Two years later, I have unknowingly found such a place where I can shelter from the wind and rain, and there are many additions I found and made by myself, traces of my life can be seen everywhere here now.

This feeling is good, as if I have a home again.

In the afternoon, I didn't go to the fields or into the mountains, but just sat under by wall to bask in the sun. There was enough food, so I didn't rush to find more food. Besides, it had only been a little over a day since I gave birth to the little monster. It was not good for me to not have enough rest, so I decided to rest up for the next couple of days.

The little monster, who had been washed clean again, curled up in my arms and slept while snoring. I found the snoring noisy, so I pulled its tail. It woke up suddenly, opened its eyes, raised its head and looked around. When it didn't see anything else, it lowered its head and continued to sleep.

After a while, it snored again. I pulled its tail again. After doing this several times, it stopped sleeping. It looked at me with aggrieved eyes and bleated with its head against my chest. It seemed to be acting like a spoiled child to me, asking me not to pull its tail intentionally.

I was curious if it could speak. Could it be that it would only bleat like this in the future?

「Can you speak?」

「Maa——[1]」

「You can only bleat?」

「Maa——」

I gave up trying to teach it to talk. I felt that the little monster was a bit of a fool.

I found all the children's clothes that were stuffed in the closet and took them out. Most of the clothes had a musty smell, and some were covered with moldy spots. I placed the clothes outside to take in the sunlight. When the bamboo poles were full, I hung them over the manhole cover and on a few low tea trees in the yard. They covered the whole yard.

These clothes were too big for the little monster, so it was only wearing a long-sleeved shirt. The hem of the shirt covered its calves. It didn't wear pants to prevent it from peeing on its clothes later. There were no holes in the pants, so if it really put them on, it wouldn't have a place for its tail.

It looked like the little monster was wearing a skirt, and it was quite happy. The clothes I chose for it had yellow flower patterns on them. It tried to bite the small yellow flowers as soon as the shirt was on, but I pinched its mouth to stop it.

「If you bite through these clothes, I won't find new ones for you, you will have to walk around naked.」I said this to the little monster.

I don't think it understood what I said, but it probably felt my intention to stop it, so it quickly gave up biting the small flowers on the clothes.

I am quite satisfied with its obedience. If it were a disobedient little monster, I might release it in two days, but this one...if it can be obedient all the time, I can keep it for a longer time.

During spring, the weather is so unpredictable. You would see the sun during the day, then suddenly at night, you hear thunder, rumbling, and fine, dense raindrops crackling on the roof and leaves. As I was listening to the rain quietly in the small, dim room, I thought of something unrelated.

When I was sixteen or seventeen years old, I liked to play games, and as I typed on the keyboard, it would make crackling sounds. My mother would push open the door at night and say to me, 『I thought it was the crackling sound of rain outside, but it turned out to be the sound of you typing on the keyboard. It's so late and you're still not sleeping, go to bed quickly.』

These things seem so distant now. As long as I don't think about them, they are vague, but once I am reminded at a certain point, they inexplicably pop up in my mind and persistently bring out some pain in me.

I have forgotten what it feels like to be a daughter, have someone pamper me, someone to manage me. I also don't know how to be a mother, so I can't think of myself as a mother. I feel... it will taint the word. Most of the mothers I met along the way have that spirit and courage of a mother, but I don't think I have it, and I won't have it.

The little monster lying next to me was originally asleep, with its head turned toward me. But as a flash of lightning sounded outside the window, and the thunder rumbled, the little monster woke up in fright, shaking like a quail. It shook and whimpered every time the thunder sounded.

A cowardly herbivore, little monster.

I stretched out my finger and poked the trembling little monster, and it held onto my finger tightly as if it had grabbed a life-saving straw.

「Coward, drink cold water, mom will hit your crooked mouth......[2]」I suddenly remembered a nursery rhyme I heard somewhere. It should be a sentence I sang with my friends when I was a child, but I can't remember the words after that. I got stuck after this sentence.

Suddenly, when I spoke, the little monster looked at me with its eyes wide, it didn't seem as scared anymore.

I looked at its eyes as if it were saying,『keep talking, keep talking』. As I touched the little monster's big head, I really remembered one.

「Big head, big head——When it rains, you're not scared——Others have umbrellas——But you have a big head——[3]」

Strange, where are these coming from? When I can't remember them, where are these things hidden in my brain?

「Under the bridge in front of the gate——A flock of ducks swam by——uh，quack quack quack？[4]」I was a little unsure if it went like this, but when the little monster heard me quack, it suddenly shook its tail and laughed, pulling at one of my fingers and shaking it, shouting along "wa wa wa".

At this time, the little monster was like a normal child. I didn't know how to feel. I rubbed its belly and continued to quack at it. This little thing really laughed again. Is it so easy to be amused?

The thunder outside was still going, cackle, cackle, and the little monster on the bed was also cackling, it couldn't stop laughing. Why did it laugh like a big fool after a few quacks? I can't understand it.

I seem to remember someone saying that children's thoughts are incomprehensible, and adults wouldn't know what they are thinking. In the middle of the night, the little monster finally fell asleep from exhaustion. The thunder outside also stopped, and only rain was still drizzling down.

I haven't fallen asleep yet.

I can't sleep. There is a living thing next to me, so it's hard for me to fall asleep. This is a habit that has been developed for many years, and it's not easy to change. In fact, I didn't want the little monster to sleep in the same room with me, but when I put it in another room, not long after, I heard bleating and scratching at the door.

It lasted for at least two hours. Finally, I gave in and got up to see that the little monster had scratched up the wooden door, and there was debris all over the floor. After this guy could crawl, it would roll down from the bed and fall to the ground. Since it had thick skin, it was fine. It rolled and crawled all over the floor like a ball. It was very active, it would do this all the time when I wasn't looking. Only when I was next to it would it behave.

I was annoyed that it kept rolling around on the floor and getting covered in dust. I had to wash it twice a day. Even I wasn't that clean.

So, I made it an ugly coat using a raincoat and wrapped it around. Now, no matter where it rolled or how dusty it got, with a pat and a wipe, it was all clean. But with that ugly coat on, it looked more like a monster.

It was happy, and would roll around on the grass in the yard all day long. It didn't just roll around at home. A few days ago, I took it to the fields to pick vegetables, and when we went to the rapeseed field to cut rapeseed flowers for it to eat. As soon as I put it on the ground, it rolled into the depths of the rapeseed field like a ball, shaking off countless yellow flowers along the way.

I cut the rapeseed flowers with a knife and put them in the big basket I brought. As long as I looked up and saw where the rapeseed flowers were flattened, I knew that was where the little monster was.

When I cut a small piece of rapeseed flowers, I suddenly heard the little monster bleating. The cry was sharper than usual, and it had an excited feel.

I walked into the hip-level high rapeseed flower field with a knife, and an ugly monster rolled towards me, holding a twisting four-legged lizard in its claws.

「Maa——」

I raised my hand and grabbed the four-legged lizard struggling in its hand, and threw it away.

The little monster was stunned, looking at its empty hands, and hadn't reacted yet. I broke off a rapeseed flower and put it close to its mouth. It immediately forgot about it, opening its big mouth it chomped down on the rapeseed flower, and then happily rolled away again.

I continued to cut rapeseed flowers, and after a while, the little monster rolled over again and showed me a frog in its hand. During this season, frogs were still hibernating in the soil, so this guy must have dug it out of the soil.

The unfortunate frog struggled and kicked its legs in the little monster's hand. I took the big frog's kicking leg and lifted it up to have a look. It's quite fat. If I go back and fry it, it should be enough for a small bowl of meat.

I knocked the frog unconscious and stuffed it into the bag. I also fed the little monster a rapeseed flower.

SMALL THEATER:

Little Monster: Mom! Mouse!

Heroine: Oh, eat.

Little Monster: Mom, snake!

Heroine: Oh, eat.

Little Monster: Mom, pheasant!

Heroine: Oh, eat.

Little Monster: Mom, rabbit!

Heroine: Oh, eat

During dinnertime, the heroine eats meat while the little monster chews grass.

[1] Bleating sound...

[2]Chinese nursery rhyme... couldn't find the name for this one.

[3]Chinese nursery rhyme: Big head, Big head

[4]Chinese nursery rhyme: Counting ducks

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